Some time ago, global warming was re-branded because doomsday predictions, such as those made by the IPCC, were not being realized. Thus, it because climate change, that way any measurable change could be attributed to carbon, even if not a logical effect of warming. That concept has been taken even further lately and dubbed "climate chaos." It allows that virtually any observation can be taken as supporting evidence because the climate actually is chaotic - in the literal sense of being a determinist, nonlinear dynamical system sensitive to initial conditions.
Anyway, in the spirit of things, here is a list of some simple things anyone can do to reduce their carbon footprint, just in case it really is as bad as the doomsday prophets say it is. (There is a mix of parody and honest suggestions. The regular readers will get it.)
10. Cook at Home
Unless you're one of the few people without a functioning kitchen, your best bet is to cook at home. The general rule of thumb for efficiency is to utilize investments as much as possible. A magnificent oven/range combo, rarely used, is a waste of the energy resources that went into producing and maintaining it. Every second that a capital investment is unused is lost efficiency.
Further, eating at a restaurant means buying into their business practices, which are never environmentally friendly, whatever they might claim. Much of it consists of frozen, processed foods shipped shipped all over the globe. It surely must not be explained why eating Chinese-processed frozen chicken is not good for your body or planet. Some think they can save the world by switching to a vegetarian diet. But, they don't realize that those grapes often come up from Chile (depending on the season) and vast amounts of non-biodegradable styrofoam are used to ship them. At best, they come a couple thousand miles from California in diesel-powered reefer trucks. I worked for a time in a produce warehouse, and witnessed the great amount of packaging waste that is hidden from the consumer.
If you cook for yourself, you can control the source of your food. You can purchase eggs, meat, and veggies from local growers. You can supplement from your own garden. In general, artificial flavors can mostly be avoided if you're careful, as herbs are easily grown. Any of these people screaming about climate apocalypse who are consuming globally sourced food are absolute frauds with no interest in actually engaging in the changes they are demanding of others.
9. Shiver in Winter, Sweat in Summer
I always find it amusing that so many businesses are colder in the summer than winter. There really is no way to heat & cool a building without carbon emissions, but it can be done reasonably. HVAC should take the edge off, not challenge nature. Most American corporations pretend to be environmentally conscious eco-citizens of the world. You must assume that the executives are showing up in expensive suits even throughout the summer months. If so, their A/C is wasteful.
8. Toyota, Not Tesla
Repair before replacing, and don't replace something that isn't fully used up. I don't see very many environmentalists doing that. They're worse than anyone about virtue signaling through copious consumption of "eco-friendly" products. Selling the aging - but still reliable - family Toyota for a Tesla is a huge waste. Upgrading old appliances and windows for Energy-Star rated equivalents is rarely a good investment either. Throwing old-but-usable items into a landfill in favor of foreign-made unmaintainable throwaway modern equivalents is the opposite of responsible stewardship for the environment.
7. Don't Fly
Driving is more frugal than flying, usually. Further, much travel in unnecessary. We have the internet. There is little that can't be learned from a laptop in any location. You'll find more cultural enlightment in a library than Bali. Meetings over Skype or Bluejeans are nearly as effective as in-person meetings. I find it amusing that, in some corporations, travel and conference expenses are reimbursed without question (even encourage), but getting upgraded laptops to developers is nigh impossible. Corporate travel is often not worth the cost, whereas even minor improvements to worker efficiency are usually cost-effective. Worse than us normal wage-earners is the private-jet-setting celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio who lecture the little people on their carbon sins. If we are serious about reducing carbon emissions, the obvious first action should be to ban private jets.
6. Don't Reproduce
More people, more pollution. Protecting sweet Mother Nature from human meddling means reducing the number of humans. The most any of us can do is to make our own choices. The more consuming the people, the less they should reproduce. Fortunately, that seem to be the natural trend. Third-worlders still breed like rabbits, city-dwelling liberals are nowhere near replacement rates of reproduction, and rural bumpkins are somewhere in the middle. Liberals, if you want to save the planet, please stop raising children.
Similar to this, any effort to reduce human populations should be supported. That means supporting foreign wars that kill millions of civilians, and opposition to medical research. A cure for cancer would be devastating for the environment!
5. Take a Pay Cut
In the era of the petradollar, money is roughly equivalent to carbon. Lowering your carbon footprint is virtually equivalent to lowering your income. The rich will pay money to "offset" their carbon, but that is a ridiculous vanity scam. If the progressives are serious about carbon cutting, they should make like Jesus and adopt a voluntary life of poverty.
4. Fat Shame
Liberals get really energized about carbon emissions. They should relax, because they are only increasing the rate of their own carbon dioxide exhalations. Ultimately, the carbon dioxide we emit from our noses comes from the carbon-based food we eat. More food, more CO2. If we're going to get serious about saving the planet, we need to get serious about shaming those who are converting the most organic material into that noxious death gas that plants crave.
3. Ban immigration
Reducing the global carbon footprint means reducing, not increasing, the average economic status of the world's citizens. That means that people of poor nations should not be upgraded to rich nations. All poor-to-rich migrations should be banned. In its place, we should encourage rich-to-poor movements. We need to start rounding up all concrete heat-island readers of the New York Times and deporting them to places like Venezuela. That would reduce both carbon and light pollution, but would have the intended downside of further encouraging Venezuelans to leave their homelands.
2. Go Completely Off-Grid
The carbon footprint can't really be offset. To be carbon-neutral means to be totally self-sufficient for food, water, shelter, and other necessities. It means never buying anything from any store ever, unless it is known that the supply chain is entirely powered by grass-fed donkeys.
1. Kill Yourself
Considering that #2 isn't practical, the only way to really eliminate your natural sin as a carbon exhaler is to cease your own biological functions. Only those truly dedicated to the cause of saving the planet from evil carbon will have the courage to take extreme measure to save the world for feminism. 😉
No comments:
Post a Comment